The bridal shower is an occasion when family and friends gather together to celebrate the bride's upcoming wedding. While this celebration is sure to be a joyous one, there's no denying that planning this special occasion can be tricky, especially when both sides of the family are involved.
But how much should families be involved in planning this event? Typically, the mother of the bride or the maid of honor hosts the shower, so final decisions should be left up to them—taking the bride's preferences into consideration, of course. Would the hostess also have to accommodate the mother of the groom's preferences, too? To ensure every in-law who's interested in helping plan this pre-wedding party has an opportunity to do so (and without overstepping their boundaries) we went to the experts for their advice.
Remember That Every Situation Is Different
"This is different in every situation and with every single client we work with," says wedding planner Jesse Tombs of Alison Events. Family dynamics vary, and who is hosting (and therefore paying for) an event can be a big factor in how involved a specific family member may be in the event. If your future mother-in-law has graciously offered to foot the bill for flowers, connect her with the hostess—assuming they see eye-to-eye on the vision and agree on the budget, there's no reason why she shouldn't be able to make that contribution. But if the hostess ultimately has other ideas in mind, it's within her right to graciously decline and suggest your future in-law contributes in another way or simply enjoys the party as a guest.
The Mother of the Groom Can Co-Host the Bridal Shower
Tombs says this event is generally hosted by the mother of the bride or the bride's closest friends. If the mother of the groom is very close with the bride, then she may feel as though it's her duty to pitch in, too. If your mom, sister, or friends are on board with the idea of a co-host, then this is an entirely acceptable route.
Be Cautious of How Many People Are Involved in the Planning Process
"I personally think events are easier to plan, organize, and execute with as few cooks in the kitchen as possible," Tombs says. Simply put: the more people that are involved, the more complicated decision making gets.
Offer the Mother of the Groom a Role in the Event
"One thing to consider is offering the mother of the groom one major role or contribution for the shower," Tombs recommends. For example, perhaps she provides the flowers for the lunch or maybe she oversees the invite list or catering. If your hostess already has these details covered, see if she'd like to put together a game or a photo display for decorations.
You Can Consider Having Two Gatherings
"Typically a wedding or bridal shower would consist of two parties or gatherings," explains wedding planner Alicia Fritz of A Day in May Events. One is hosted by a family member (or friend of the bride), she explains, and one is hosted by a friend or family member of the groom. Even if you hadn't planned on having two celebrations, it would be nice to let your future mother-in-law throw a second party in your honor for her friends and relatives if she'd really like to.
The Bridal Shower Should Be About the Bride
"At the end of the day, the shower should be about the bride," Fritz says. Keep it simple, elegant, fun, and lighthearted, she advises. Family dynamics can be worked out after.
FAQs
The Mother of the Groom Can Co-Host the Bridal Shower
Should a mother-in-law be involved in a bridal shower? ›
Traditionally, the Bridal Shower was not to be hosted by the Mother, Sister or Mother-in-Law or other close relatives though today it is much more common to see one of these family members host. Quite often the Maid of Honor or even another close friend hosts alone or with the Bridesmaids.
What does the mother of the groom give at the bridal shower? ›
Consider heirloom-worthy serveware or a handmade book featuring your family's secret recipes. Alternatively, opt for items she'll likely need for the wedding. Think: a luxurious getting-ready robe, something blue or travel essentials for the honeymoon.
How involved should the mother of the groom be? ›
Traditionally, the groom's mother will take care of the rehearsal dinner arrangements and help prepare the guest list for the groom's side of the family. Both tasks should be done with both the bride and the groom's input. Any other responsibilities can be negotiated among the families.
Should the mother of the groom throw a bridal shower? ›
Dear Groom: The most appropriate people to throw bridal showers are not mothers or mothers-in-law, but bridesmaids, or friends of the couple who live in the town where the couple resides. This current dust-up illustrates one good reason behind this recommendation.
Who should not host a bridal shower? ›
Traditional etiquette dictates that the maid of honor—not the mother of the bride—should host the shower. Nancy is a freelance writer for MarthaStewart.com. Some etiquette rules were meant to fade away into oblivion, like the one about family members of the bride not hosting her bridal shower.
What are the mother of the groom's financial responsibilities? ›
According to traditional etiquette, the groom's family is responsible for paying for the bride's rings, the groom's and groomsmen's attire, the rehearsal dinner, gifts for the groomsmen, some personal flowers, the officiant's fee, the marriage license fee, certain aspects of transportation, and the honeymoon.
What color is the groom's mother supposed to wear? ›
What Colour Can the Mother of the Groom Wear? Opt for colours that complement the wedding palette. Jewel tones, pastels, and navy are popular choices that photograph well and add a touch of sophistication.
Does the mother of the groom get ready with the mother of the bride? ›
For starters, it is quite common for the groom's mom to be with the bride the morning of the wedding. "Most often times we see the mother of the groom getting ready with the mother of the bride in the bridal suite," says Manda Worthington, event planner, founder, and CEO of Mae&Co.
Who pays for mother of groom hair and makeup? ›
Who Pays for the Mother-of-the-Bride and Groom's Beauty Team? As with most beauty questions, there is no hard-and-fast rule. Some brides may offer to cover hair and makeup services in order to thank the wedding party for being a part of their special day.
Inviting the groom's family to the bridal shower is a must! Make sure to include his relatives like his parents, siblings, and grandparents. This way, you're not only bringing joy to the bride but also creating new bonds between both families. Now, you might be wondering about those distant cousins or far-off aunts.
Does a mother of the groom walk down the aisle with her son? ›
He or she is immediately followed by the groom, who is escorted by both his mother and his father.
What does a mother-in-law give to daughter in law at bridal shower? ›
Designer accessories make excellent bridal shower gifts from the mother of the groom. Treat your future daughter-in-law to a stunning handbag or silk scarf from a high-end brand. These showstopping accessories will have her feeling like a million bucks on her special day.
Is the mother-in-law supposed to host a baby shower? ›
Who Hosts a Baby Shower? Most baby showers should be hosted by a sister, mother, mother-in-law, or close friend. Baby showers were traditionally thrown by family members who weren't close with the parents-to-be, to avoid the assumption that close family members wanted to collect gifts for themselves.
Who typically pays for a bridal shower? ›
In short, the host is the one who pays for the bridal shower—or at least some of it. Most commonly, this is the maid of honor, but the couple's relatives, friends or even the to-be-weds themselves can all pitch in to cover the cost of the wedding shower.
Who should be invited to a bridal shower? ›
A bridal shower guest list will be mostly the bride's closest friends, bridal party, and family. If the groom's mom is helping with the organizing, she may ask to invite the groom's sisters and aunties, so you can count on including the groom's close family too.
