Who Traditionally Pays for the Bridal Shower? (2024)

One of the most exciting things about getting married (aside from the actual wedding day, of course) is the string of celebrations that follow the ring—especially the bridal shower. This event is a special moment dedicated to brides and their forthcoming nuptials, and is a fête many individuals look forward to having as it brings together an intimate group of close family and friends. Often hosted by the maid of honor, a bridesmaid, or a close friend, bridal showers are one of the few pre-wedding events where the guest of honor can simply sit back, relax, and enjoy a celebration of love. That being said, we can't deny that there are some challenges associated with planning this affair, like figuring out who bears the financial burden.

While most traditions surrounding bridal showers are well-known (like bingo and designing a wedding dress out of toilet paper), the etiquette rules about who traditionally pays for this event are less than familiar—specifically since modern couples are ditching tradition and opting for celebrations that are unique to them. So if you're currently asking yourself, "Who's financially responsible for the bridal shower?," we tapped several wedding planning experts to help answer your question. Plus, we provide a few tips on how to save money when organizing this occasion. Read on for more.

Meet the Expert

  • AJ Williams is the founder and creative director ofAJ Events, an experiential design and event planning company.
  • Jamie Chang is a wedding planner and the creator of Passport to Joy, an online platform that helps couples plan their own weddings.
  • Keith Willard is the owner ofKeith Willard Events, a wedding and event planning company based in Florida.

What Is a Bridal Shower? All the Planning and Etiquette Advice You Need to Know

Who Pays for the Bridal Shower?

According to standard etiquette practice, a bridal shower is paid for by the person hosting the event, who, in most cases, is the maid of honor. However, in today's modern-day age, it’s becoming quite common for the bridal party, mother-of-the-bride, and even the bride to chip in depending on who can afford what. AJ Williams, founder and creative director of AJ Events, has even seen an increase in male best friends and individuals who aren't in the wedding party contribute to this event.

While “bride” and “bridal shower” commonly refer to those who identify as female, it is perfectly polite and encouraged to shower any individual about to wed, even the groom.

Who Traditionally Pays for the Bridal Shower? (1)

The Average Cost of a Bridal Shower

The average cost of a bridal shower will vary based on the type of event you choose to host. Are you throwing this celebration in a restaurant or someone's home? How many guests do you plan to invite? How much food do you plan to serve? All of these factors will contribute to the overall costs, in addition to expenses associated with décor, flowers, favors, props or prizes for games, and invitations. If you need an exact number, however, expect to pay an average of $50 to $100 per person if hosting a bridal shower at a venue. Of course, your expenses will likely be lower if you opt to throw a DIY celebration at home.

Jamie Chang, wedding planner and creator of Passport to Joy, encourages hosts to be mindful of unexpected costs that can creep into their budgets, as well. For example, if you're having the shower catered or at a restaurant, taxes and tips are commonly left out of the initial invoice, so be mindful of those costs during the initial planning stages. Williams also recommends considering alcohol as a separate portion of your budget altogether. “Your food budget will vary depending on the type of shower you're doing (a seated brunch versus finger foods versus a light luncheon), but in general, alcohol expenses tend to stay the same,” she says.

The Ultimate Guide to Bridal Showers

How to Save Money on a Bridal Shower

Need help hosting a bridal shower on budget? Here are four expert-approved tips to know.

Have a Conversation With the Bride

If you're planning a bridal shower for the bride, chances are you know the guest of honor fairly well—but it’s important to really know how they'd like their shower to look and feel. Specifically, Chang notes that it's essential to have a conversation with the bride before planning this fête, as you may find out that many of the activities and expenses associated with a traditional shower do not apply (the guest of honor may not care for games or might prefer to have an intimate picnic as opposed to a large-scale lunch).

Don't Overthink Expectations

Those planning an event often get caught up in the experience they think people are anticipating (like having an Instagram wall or a bottomless Bloody Mary station), which causes them to quickly blow their budget out of the water, says Keith Willard of Keith Willard Events. To avoid this, stick to the basics and the confines of your budget; you can easily host a beautiful celebration without all of the extra add-ons. Remember, most people attend an event with a very simple bottom line: “I’m going to be fed and, hopefully, they will give us wine.” Start there, Willard says, and don’t "What if?" yourself to death.

Need practical advice? For brunch, Willard recommends the basics: eggs, bacon, or a protein of some sort, some breakfast bread, and juices. For lunch, a salad with a protein followed by sweet bites is perfectly sufficient. Throw in a bottle of wine or two or a welcome glass of Champagne, and that should do the trick. If, and only if you have additional funds, go ahead and add on that Bloody Mary bar.

Know Your Flowers

Floral centerpieces are always appropriate, but Willard warns that the cost between an orchid and a hydrangea is dramatically different, so it pays to know what you’re asking for. Hydrangeas, for example, are usually very affordable and provide both beauty and volume. Candles are also a great way to elevate the ambiance without having to spend a lot of money—even in daylight, a flickering candle will provide visual warmth that can make all the difference in your décor.

Consider the Size of the Venue

Most hotels and event spaces often provide 72-inch rounds, which is a lot of space to decorate. When a table has a lot of white space, it can look sparse and come across as cheap, Willard says. By going with a smaller table size, you can get away with a smaller centerpiece, and it costs a lot less to decorate it. The same goes for the venue or location in which you host the shower: The smaller the venue, the more filled and exciting it will look during the event and in photos.

How to Plan an Amazing Bridal Shower on a Budget

Who Traditionally Pays for the Bridal Shower? (2024)

FAQs

Who Traditionally Pays for the Bridal Shower? ›

In short, the host is the one who pays for the bridal shower—or at least some of it. Most commonly, this is the maid of honor

maid of honor
The term maid of honour is the origin of the American English term maid of honor, usually the best friend of a bride who leads her bridal party.
https://en.wikipedia.org › wiki › Maid_of_honour
, but the couple's relatives, friends or even the to-be-weds themselves can all pitch in to cover the cost of the wedding shower.

Does the brides mother pay for the bridal shower? ›

According to standard etiquette practice, a bridal shower is paid for by the person hosting the event, who, in most cases, is the maid of honor.

Who is traditionally responsible for the bridal shower? ›

The maid of honor traditionally takes on the role of chief shower planner. But she isn't a one-woman show: She relies on the bridesmaids to help her with planning logistics. On the day of, the girls run the party, making sure everything goes smoothly and that guests are taken care of.

Who is supposed to pay for a bridal shower? ›

Although once upon a time it was expected that the bride's family would foot the bridal shower bill, modern society has changed the rules. Nowadays, the person (or people) hosting the bridal shower are responsible for covering the costs associated with the shower.

What is a normal budget for a bridal shower? ›

That works out at $300 to $800 for a 20-person party but can go as high as $150 per person or $3,000 for a 20-person shower. Based on these estimates and an average bridal shower guest list of 35-50 people, a reasonable budget for a bridal shower is between $350 and $7,500.

Should a mother give her daughter a bridal shower? ›

Traditional etiquette dictates that the maid of honor—not the mother of the bride—should host the shower. Nancy is a freelance writer for MarthaStewart.com. Some etiquette rules were meant to fade away into oblivion, like the one about family members of the bride not hosting her bridal shower.

Does the mother of the bride pay for anything? ›

While traditionally, the bride's parents were responsible for hosting (and paying for) the entire celebration, today, many couples join both sets of parents in contributing.

What does the maid of honor pay for? ›

"We often see the maid of honor assist in covering the cost of the bridal shower (often in conjunction with a family member of the bride), covering her own costs and some of the costs of the bride for the bachelorette party (in conjunction with the rest of the bridesmaids), her own travel to and from the wedding, a ...

Should the mother of the groom host a bridal shower? ›

The Mother of the Groom Can Co-Host the Bridal Shower

Tombs says this event is generally hosted by the mother of the bride or the bride's closest friends. If the mother of the groom is very close with the bride, then she may feel as though it's her duty to pitch in, too.

Who pays for a Jack and Jill bridal shower? ›

In short, the host is the one who pays for the bridal shower—or at least some of it. Most commonly, this is the maid of honor, but the couple's relatives, friends or even the to-be-weds themselves can all pitch in to cover the cost of the wedding shower.

Who organizes the bridal shower? ›

When it comes to the question “who hosts a bridal shower,” the most popular answer is usually the maid of honor. One of the most important maid of honor duties is leading the charge to plan the bridal shower, from choosing a venue to sending out bridal shower invitations, planning games to choosing favors.

Does the host of a bridal shower give a gift? ›

It is customary for the hostess to get the bride a gift for the shower, just like everyone else. You may want to coordinate the buying of a major gift, or you might want to give her something small but very nice just from you if the shower is setting you back financially.

What is the etiquette for bridal shower money gift? ›

That said, a wedding cash gift isn't the only way to go, and giving cash at a bridal shower is acceptable. Anywhere between $50 to $75 is an appropriate amount to give as a bridal shower gift.

What do the bride's parents traditionally pay for? ›

The topic of money can be touchy, and no one wants to inadvertently offend. Traditionally, the breakdown of expenses was very clear: The bride's family paid for the groom's ring, engagement party, the wedding and reception, a brunch the next day, and a belated reception (if there was one).

What is the mother of the bride responsible for? ›

A key mother of the bride task on the day of the wedding is to host the reception with the other parents. Take the time to chat to guests, thank them for coming, ensure everything is happening as it should be and just generally make sure the day is running smoothly.

What does the mother of the bride do for the bridal shower? ›

Attend the Bridal Shower

Traditionally, the mother of the bride doesn't host the bridal shower, however, your daughter will likely want you to be a part of the celebration. So, try and attend or even organize the bridal shower depending on what you decide with the bridesmaids.

Who pays for mother of bride makeup? ›

Usually the mother of the bride pays for herself, and sometimes the entire bridal party,” says Cohen.

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