Planning the morning of your wedding day might take as much effort as planning your ceremony or reception. There are a lot of details to piece together, like bridal party arrival times, where you're photos will be taken, and schedules for hair and makeup, just to name a few. Among these details, figuring out where the mother of the groom is supposed to get ready will likely be something you're asked to sort out.
While it seems obvious enough that your bridesmaids and immediate family members (like a sister, mother, and maybe a close aunt) will be by your side when getting dressed, it's less obvious when it comes to your future mother-in-law. On the one hand, if you have a great relationship with the mother of the groom, it might seem like a no-brainer to invite her to get ready with everyone in your crew. However, if your relationship isn't very close or feels strained, you might be left wondering what's appropriate to do.
To find out, we spoke to an event planner who has experience dealing with these kinds of family wedding dynamics. Read on to find out exactly where the mother of the groom should get ready so that the morning of your big day is as calm and peaceful as possible.
Meet the Expert
Manda Worthington is the founder and CEO of Mae&Co. Creative, an award-winning design and production agency committed to creating timeless events for clients across the globe.
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Where Does the Mother of the Groom Get Ready for the Wedding?
The truth is, this question doesn't really have just one answer. For starters, it is quite common for the groom's mom to be with the bride the morning of the wedding. "Most often times we see the mother of the groom getting ready with the mother of the bride in the bridal suite," says Manda Worthington, event planner, founder, and CEO of Mae&Co. Creative. Nonetheless, every dynamic is different, and if you think that getting ready with your future mother-in-law will cause a bit of tension and awkwardness, it might be best to let her do her own thing. "I don’t think there should be a 'requirement' for how to do things, and if it works better for the mother of the groom to get ready elsewhere, then she should!" Worthington shares.
If you fall into the former category and would like to get ready with your future mom, be sure to ask her if she's interested in joining you and your bridesmaids before adding her to your getting-ready checklist. If she ends up saying she would rather get ready somewhere else, however, try not to take it to heart. Maybe she has a hairstylist or makeup person she trusts, and would rather get ready in the comfort of her own space. You can always invite her for a mimosa when she's done getting dressed, or involve her in other ways leading up to the big day.
"Maybe get pedicures the week of the wedding with her or invite her to important appointments, like the dress shopping or different planning meetings even," Worthington suggests. "Again, this all depends on the relationship!" At the end of the day, this is totally up to you, and whatever makes both of you feel comfortable is the right answer here.
Etiquette Tips for Mothers of the Groom to Know the Morning of the Wedding
Whether the mother of the groom is getting ready with the bride or not, there are some general etiquette tips she should follow the morning of the wedding, as highlighted below.
Visit the bridal suite, if possible.
Even if the mother of the groom wants to get her hair and makeup done elsewhere, she should try to stop by the bridal suite (or wherever the bride is getting ready) for at least an hour or so before pictures or the ceremony begins—especially if the bride extends an invite. This shows that she still wants to be involved.
Be available to lend a helping hand.
Worthington recommends that the mother of the groom should be ready to jump in and help with something, if necessary. "Most brides we work with these days will find unique ways to include the [mother of the groom] in different activities, like picking up brunch for the bridal suite or making sure they get hair and makeup done with everyone," Again, even if the mother of the groom is just coming by for a short time, she should offer to help with anything that is needed.
Respect the bride's wishes when possible.
Mothers of the groom should keep in mind that this is the bride's big day. So it's polite for the mother of the groom to ask the bride if there's any specific color she should wear, any specific way she should get her hair and makeup done, or any specific jewelry she should buy. While she doesn't have to follow the bride's every demand, it's always a nice gesture to consider the bride's wants when possible.
Keep things polite and light.
If the mother of the groom and the bride don't have a great relationship, or if they're not particularly close, the morning of the wedding is definitely not the time to bring that up. Mothers of the groom should sweep any issue under the rug for the time being, and keep the morning of the wedding as happy as possible.
In general, the morning of the wedding should be fun and exciting, and getting ready should be a good time for everyone. "I think more than anything, do what feels right and what you feel would show love and respect to the mother of the groom," Worthington says. "There shouldn’t be any strict rules here, every family is different and you should do what feels authentic to you."
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