Wediquette Wednesday: Can the mother of the bride host a bridal shower? (2024)

WediquetteWednesday: Can the mother of the bride host a bridal shower? (1)

EachWednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)

Question:My sister is engaged, and we are in the process of deciding who will host her main bridal shower. Our grandmother says our mom isn’t supposed to host one at all, but a lot of our friend’s moms have done this in the past. Our mom not only wants to host it, but also her house has the best space for it and is in the perfect locations. Can the mother of the bride host a bridal shower?

Answer:While your grandmother is correct that historically the mother of the bride did not host a bridal shower, it’s one of those rules of etiquette that has fallen away. It used to be viewed as a ‘gift grab’ when the shower was hosted by a member of the bride’s immediate family. Instead, we’d often see the in-laws, bridesmaids or family friends do it. However, it’s now acceptable for anyone who wants to throw it to do the honors and, of course, there also can be multiple showers for the different groups in the couple’s lives.

Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or emailMelanie@MyNewOrleans.com.

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Wediquette Wednesday: Can the mother of the bride host a bridal shower? (2024)

FAQs

Wediquette Wednesday: Can the mother of the bride host a bridal shower? ›

Answer: Tradition says that a shower shouldn't be thrown by the bride's immediate relatives, including future in-laws, because it might give the impression that you're asking for gifts.

Can the mother of the bride host a bridal shower? ›

The Traditional Bridal Shower Host

The maid of honor isn't the only option, however. Anyone who is close to the bride—including her mother, sister, cousin, grandma, or future mother-in-law—can host. It used to be that immediate family members were never named as official hosts.

What does the mother of the groom do for a bridal shower? ›

Bridal Shower Etiquette

Typically, as per tradition, the mother of the groom will bring a gift for the bride to the bridal shower.

Who is supposed to host a bridal shower for the bride? ›

"Typically, the bridal shower is hosted by the mother of the bride, the maid of honor or the matron of honor," Swann says. "Alternatively, the bridal party may come together to host the bridal shower for their friend.

What should the mother of the bride not do? ›

So, a basic rule of wedding etiquette is that the mother of the bride should not outshine her daughter. So, don't choose gowns or dresses that would overpower the bridal gown. Also, try to avoid loud patterns that will overwhelm in photos and make you stand out from the rest of the wedding party.

Does the mother of the bride give a speech at the bridal shower? ›

As the mother of the bride, you've likely been tasked with giving a speech not only at your daughter's wedding, but also at her bridal shower. This is a great opportunity to truly highlight your daughter and speak about the relationship you two share.

Who walks with mother of the bride? ›

The mother of the bride is traditionally escorted by her son if she has one. Otherwise, any close male relative, the best man, or a groomsman walks with the mother of the bride during the procession.

Should a mother give her daughter a bridal shower? ›

Traditionally, the mother of the bride doesn't host the bridal shower (the maid of honor typically assumes the chief shower-planning role), however, your daughter will likely want you to be a part of the celebration.

Who should not throw a bridal shower? ›

Answer: Tradition says that a shower shouldn't be thrown by the bride's immediate relatives, including future in-laws, because it might give the impression that you're asking for gifts.

Who usually pays for a bridal shower? ›

Although once upon a time it was expected that the bride's family would foot the bridal shower bill, modern society has changed the rules. Nowadays, the person (or people) hosting the bridal shower are responsible for covering the costs associated with the shower.

Does the mother of the bride give her daughter a gift? ›

Typically, yes. The mother of the bride usually gives a special gift to the bride on the wedding day. This is often something sentimental like a piece of jewelry, a handkerchief, or a photo album.

What should a mother of the bride say in her speech? ›

A mother of the bride speech should:

Pay tribute to the bride and share stories and memories of her from childhood and today. Talk about meeting their new partner for the first time, getting to know them and welcoming them into the family. Offer wise and funny advice to the couple. Finish with a toast to the newlyweds.

What Colour should the mother of the bride not wear? ›

There are certain colours that the mother of the bride should not wear. Unless otherwise instructed, is to never wear white or any colour close to what the bride has chosen to wear. Other standard colours to avoid include ivory, white and champagne. Another colour to avoid is black.

What is the role of the mother in the bridal shower? ›

Whether she's handling your bridal shower or greeting out-of-town guests once they arrive in town for your nuptials, the mother of the bride is the official hostess and should focus on helping each attendee feel welcome.

Is the mother in law invited to the bridal shower? ›

Traditionally, the guest list includes the bride's close female friends and family members, like her bridesmaids, mother, sisters, and future in-laws," she shares.

Who pays for a daughter's bridal shower? ›

Nowadays, the person (or people) hosting the bridal shower are responsible for covering the costs associated with the shower.

What does the mother of the bride pay for? ›

If you are following the rules of tradition, the bride's family is expected to bear the brunt of the expenses including the wedding dress, bridesmaids' gifts, the wedding planner or coordinator, the invitations, the flowers, the reception, photography, the groom's wedding ring, music, any pre-wedding day meals for the ...

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