How to be a gracious Hanukkah guest (2024)

Q: My family and I are invited to a Hanukkah dinner this year. We are not Jewish and are not sure of the etiquette. Help!

Q: My family and I are invited to a Hanukkah dinner this year. We are not Jewish and are not sure of the etiquette. Help!

A: These truths should be (although frequently are not) self-evident:

• Hanukkah is not the Jewish version of Christmas.

• Guests have a responsibility to prepare for parties as much as the hosts do.

While Hanukkah is a joyous, home-based, family holiday that has evolved to include gift-giving, it is a distinctly Jewish celebration.

“Since Hanukkah happens to fall around Christmas, the gift aspect gets blown all out of proportion and runs the risk of becoming altogether too materialistic,” warns Rabbi Janine Schloss, director of education at Temple Beth Am in Seattle.

During Hanukkah, which begins Dec. 25 this year, you can expect candles on the menorah. A candle is lighted in the evening through Hanukkah as a blessing is recited.

Traditional foods include potato latkes, applesauce and brisket. Spinning the dreidel (a four-sided top) for “Hanukkah gelt” (gold-wrapped chocolate coins) is another part of the celebration.

Your host might appreciate gifts of chocolate, gourmet applesauce, candles, books or board games.

Susan Landon, a Mercer Island resident who frequently hosts events, offers some don’ts for Hanukkah guests:

• Don’t ask the hosts or their children if they wish they could have a Hanukkah bush or stockings.

• Don’t blow out the candles.

• Don’t fuss about how latkes don’t fit into your diet.

Jerri Lane, director of marketing at The Westin Seattle and the mother of three, reminds us, “As an observant Jew, Christmas is a daunting challenge, as the whole world is lit up with Christmas carols, trees and lights.”

Surely it behooves any guest to honor the beliefs of her host by learning what it is they are celebrating. For more on the origins and meaning of Hanukkah, Rabbi Schloss recommends the Web site www.MyJewishLearning.com.

“Hanukkah is all about being proud to be different and to share your differences and allow others to share their differences with you,” Schloss said.

Finally, Lane advises, “Have fun, eat lots, sing loud and give thanks for all your many blessings.”

Mary Mitchell is a Seattle-based corporate trainer and author of “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Etiquette.” E-mail questions to Mary@themitchell.org. Sorry, no personal replies.

How to be a gracious Hanukkah guest (2024)

FAQs

What to bring as a guest for Hanukkah? ›

Traditional foods include potato latkes, applesauce and brisket. Spinning the dreidel (a four-sided top) for “Hanukkah gelt” (gold-wrapped chocolate coins) is another part of the celebration. Your host might appreciate gifts of chocolate, gourmet applesauce, candles, books or board games.

What not to bring to a Hanukkah party? ›

Hanukkah doesn't have any dietary restrictions, but make sure not to bring food items that aren't kosher. Even if your hosts aren't observant, it's best to stick with kosher items out of politeness. You never know if the host might have invited observant guests!

How do you respectfully celebrate Hanukkah? ›

Traditional Hanukkah celebrations include frying food in oil, playing dreidel, singing songs, and, of course, lighting the hanukkiah. The hanukkiah is a type of menorah with nine candle holders—one of which is the shamash.

What is an appropriate gift for Hanukkah? ›

There's no ceremony for giving gifts. Instead, appropriate Hanukkah gifts are usually small, thoughtful, and often food-related. Typical Hanukkah gifts, such as dreidels, board games, and fancy meats, are designed to show togetherness and bonding among Jews.

What flower represents Hanukkah? ›

What Are the Flowers for Hanukkah? Though lilies are popular flowers as centerpieces in Hanukkah flower arrangements, there aren't any true “traditional Hanukkah flowers.” The colors or flowers, rather than the types of flowers, are what differentiate Hanukkah flower arrangements from those of other holidays.

What is a traditional Hanukkah hostess gift? ›

Top 10 Holiday Hostess Gifts from Israel for Hanukkah & Winter
  • Holy Land Hanukkah Gift Basket. ...
  • Yair Emanuel Birds and Pomegranates Bowl. ...
  • Shalva Tea Sampler Gift Box. ...
  • Dorit Judaica Wall Hanging Home Blessing. ...
  • Natural Semi-Dry Pomegranate Wine.
Nov 30, 2023

What is forbidden during Hanukkah? ›

It is customary for women not to work for at least the first half-hour of the candles' burning, and some have the custom not to work for the entire time of burning. It is also forbidden to fast or to eulogize during Hanukkah.

What colors do you wear to a Hanukkah party? ›

What to wear to any Hanukkah celebration. Go for classic blue, white, and gold when trying to style a Hanukkah dress. Not sure where to find a cute and stylish Hanukkah dress? Opt for a simple blue style like this gorgeous pleated midi dress from Prettygarden.

Can you drink alcohol on Hanukkah? ›

Red wines help bring out the rich juices in the meat and cut through some of the fat. Wine is also a very popular drink used by the Jewish people to commemorate occasions. Jason explains, “We celebrate Hannukah and other holidays with alcohol, particularly wine, because it is a symbol of joy and happiness.

What is the proper way to wish someone happy Hanukkah? ›

"You can wish someone a happy Hanukkah by saying chag sameach, which is pronounced [ khag sah-meh-ahkh ]," according to thesaurus.com. "This expression means 'happy holiday. ' If you want to make it a bit more Hanukkah-specific, you can say chag Hanukkah sameach, pronounced [ khag khah-nuh-kuh sah-meh-ahkh ], instead."

Should you tell people Happy Hanukkah? ›

To greet your Jewish loved ones during these eight days, you can simply say “Happy Hanukkah” or use one of these options in Hebrew. Hanukkah — or Chanukah, both are common spellings — is taking place between Dec. 7 and Dec. 15.

Can Christians celebrate Hanukkah? ›

There is no biblical mandate for Christians to celebrate Hanukkah.

What not to give for Hanukkah? ›

Things to Avoid Doing

In particular, do not use the classic Christmas wrapping papers or get green and red gifts. Hanukkah has its own unique color associations and blue and white items are preferred.

What is the money given as a gift during Hanukkah? ›

Hanukkah gelt (Yiddish: חנוכה געלט ḥanukah gelt; Hebrew: דמי חנוכה dmei ḥanukah 'Hanukkah money'), also known as gelt (German: Geld), is money given as presents during the Jewish festival of Hanukkah. It is typically given to children and sometimes teachers, often in conjunction with the game of Dreidel.

What do you give for each day of Hanukkah? ›

8 Nights of Hanukkah Gifts: What to give each night
  • Night One: The biggie. ...
  • You can find loads of ideas for the biggie by age in my gift guides I've created over the years.
  • Night Two: Socks. ...
  • Night Three: Treats. ...
  • Night Four: Pajamas. ...
  • Night Five: Another toy. ...
  • Night Six: A book. ...
  • Night Eight: A family gift.
Nov 30, 2022

What to wear to a Hanukkah party? ›

What to wear to any Hanukkah celebration. Go for classic blue, white, and gold when trying to style a Hanukkah dress. Not sure where to find a cute and stylish Hanukkah dress? Opt for a simple blue style like this gorgeous pleated midi dress from Prettygarden.

What to bring to Hanukkah candle lighting? ›

Pro tip: Bring a lighter or book of matches to the festivities. I have participated in more than one Hanukkah candle-lighting where matches seemed as scarce as the super-holy olive oil of 160-ish BC.

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