Here’s an online phenomenonthat I thought would provide a proper bit of clickbait for a Mondaymorning.
I love GIFs… I really do.
For the uninitiatedand/or elderly, “GIF” stands for “Graphics Interchange Format”, and it is an image file format commonly used to display small animations and low-resolution video clips.
So, in short, this is a picture…
Whereas, this is a GIF…
There are topics that just lend themselves well to this medium, and I am always amazed at how a certain theme becomes hot.
Cat videos were all the rage for a while, and are still immensely popular with the readership of Deadspin. There arecinnamon challenges, gender reveals, amateurtwerking displays, and that stupid f*cking shiggy dance to that awful Drake song all pollutingthe interwebs much to the delight of millions of watchers.
But here’s my new favorite… The Passenger Seat Broad With Big tit* In A Car That Is Going Way Too Fast.
(I am hoping this young lady pictured above only agreed to be filmed in return for some free dental work because that stray incisor on the right side of her mouth looks like it could be used to open a beer bottle through a chain link fence.)
The first person to perform this scenario to any sizable crowd was Ewa Sonnet, but I believe all of her examples end in full-blown p*rnography, so I left her relegated to the thumbnail associated with this blog… If you care to dig deeper, that’s on you.
But no matter who was the first to try it, I am just thrilled they exist. There is no shortage available to everyone at the push of a few buttons, but in order to save you the effort, I am going to throw as many as I can below without crashing Barstool’s servers… I believe 7 in all.
^ This videographer apparently has so little regard for women, he doesn’t even include their heads… Shame on you.
^ This one above is a tease for what has become the Rosetta Stone forThe Passenger Seat Broad With Big tit* In A Car That Is Going Way Too Fast… If you re-watch it, this young lady’s right breast starts to lift up as the car starts pulling some serious G’s during acceleration. For a split second, you think there might be a full-frontal reveal where the laws of physics cause her to dump them out.
It doesn’t happen, of course, but that doesn’t stop you from rooting for it to occur all 30 times you watch it.
This young lady below seems to be there more for the excessive vibrations than the need for speed, and she doesn’t care who knows it…
Some ladies just need a couple AA’s to get them where they need to go… This girl needs a DieHard and 8 cylinders.
This one is a tad creepy because I believe Newton’s3rd Law of Physics clearly dictates that “girls jiggle in the same direction unless acted upon by an opposite force of equal or greater strength.”
Unless she is flexing her pecs, this angel is blowing Newton right out of the water (among other things, I suppose).
Here’s the first of our 2 goofy European examples (steeringwheel is on the wrong side), and this broad is a poster girl for the fact that people on the other side of the pond just don’t respect seatbelts.
And finally, here’s my favorite.
Just the right amount of terror, and a wardrobe malfunction that has you betting against those buttons harder than you bet against ISIS.
Have a good Monday, all… Talk soon.
Take a report.
-Large
