by Jacky Ziki • 30 Apr, 2020
Western etiquette began in France, and the word etiquette comes from the French word étiquette (meaning label or small tag). Louis XIV of France, who loved the art of dance, was the monarch who promoted the development of ballet. The stage manners you see today in ballet are a reflection of French court etiquette. At that time, he established a set of rules of etiquette at the court, using small tags to educate royal members and servants, with the aim of making the court a model of elegant citizenship, requiring men and women of the time to pay attention to their personal manners under all circ*mstances. Therefore, in the 17th century, France became the centre of European civilization, and other Western countries followed her manners and fashion. According to the source of the word etiquette, we have a revelation: since etiquette is a label, then a person's manners, the way he speaks, his gestures and details are all labels, and they all show or betray a person's origin and background. The word Etiquette was adopted in English in 1750, and according to the Cambridge English Dictionary, etiquette means the set of rules or customs that control accepted behaviour in particular social groups or social situations. The Oxford English Dictionary explains it similarly: the formal rules of correct or polite behaviour in society, among members of a particular profession or in a particular area of activity. There is also a word manners, meaning polite and thoughtful acts, which refers to a person's behaviour towards others and covers a wider range of topics than etiquette. Becoming a courteous person and cultivating an elegant demeanour cannot be done overnight or by attending an etiquette class. So, are etiquette and manners the same thing? Which one is more important? However, in recent times, when people talk about manners, courtesy and gentlemanly behaviours, they do not think of the French, but the British. The etiquette that originated in France was perfected by the British when it was passed on to the UK and became the standard of etiquette in the world, and the knowledge of etiquette shared in this book is basically British. Why is that? The French people at that time liked to be fashionable and a bit show-off, you can see many portraits of a rather flamboyant Louis XIV of France. But the personality of the British, is being reserved, self-disciplined and subtle, which are the essence of etiquette. Hence the French were gradually replaced by the British as masters of etiquette. In addition, the British Industrial Revolution of the eighteenth century influenced the development of civilisation around the world. Britain's influence was the greatest, leading the world in terms of technology and culture. Therefore, British etiquette is accepted and aspired to by the world, becoming a world leader in etiquette and manners. The basis of etiquette is good manners Although etiquette is culturally different, the norms of good manners that are accepted by most people are the same. A polite person is popular and liked by most people. Do you think that, nowadays people's ability to communicate has improved or regressed? There is no doubt that the development of technology has brought us many electronic products that facilitate communication, but we still live in a world where we need to be social, and we can't just ‘stay at home’ and interact online only. The fast and convenient modern lifestyle has, to a certain extent, reduced the interaction between people, and many young people do not know how to communicate and display courtesy, thus becoming anxious and uneasy in the real world. Now there is a new word netiquette in English, which shows that the content of etiquette has been updated and improved with the changing times. However, in today's highly competitive social environment, will being Mr. Nice be a weakness because of his kindness? Is it a disadvantage in life and in the workplace to insist on being a polite person? Goldsmiths University in London has done a study in this area in recent years, exploring the relationship between being nice and health, happiness and success. The research shows that those who consider themselves to be in the nice and kind category earn on average £3,500 more per year than their peers who consider themselves to be in the not nice category, while at the same time they are able to manage stress better and because of this they are happier, healthier, more successful and earn more than the average person. Here, do we see the relationship between manners and emotional intelligence? EQ, emotional intelligence, defined by Lesley Giles, of the School of Management, Lancaster University, UK: It is the ability to understand, through your empathy, one's emotional state and how one is affected by one's circ*mstances, while understanding the feelings of others; this ability is a perception that allows you to skilfully relate to people and better manage relationships. The relationship between manners and emotional intelligence is clear, that is to say, people who are well-mannered have a higher emotional intelligence. In short, both etiquette and manners focus on respect for others, while etiquette is built on good manners, which shows that manners is more important than etiquette. You may not know all the dos and don’ts of etiquette, but you can still be a well-mannered and cultured person.
